Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
