I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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