im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
