Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
