I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
