even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize