I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
