You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
