can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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