You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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