Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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