my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
