Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Mom said you looked used
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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