do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
