If i come over, it means nothing
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
