I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
