I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
