if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
