She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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