her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
