I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize