And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
