then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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