Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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