Can i not drive my cunt home
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
