my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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