i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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