toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
