a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
