he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
as a side note pls kill me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
