a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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