in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
