I want to have your abortion
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize