Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
