Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
