Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
