You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
