let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Mom said you looked used
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
