did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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