Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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