So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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