Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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