i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
