There was a lot of him and a little penis
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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