Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
