i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
