I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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