i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
