How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
