I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
