omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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