Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
