Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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