my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
