Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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