Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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