Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
