she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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