I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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