Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
