what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
